Monday, April 10, 2006
forever & a day
ok so it's been forever since i've posted on any of my sites but i feel the need to update this one because my last post here was so depressing...sorry about that...
my mom is still in her manic phase...she feels that she has all of the answers to life's questions and solutions to all of life's problems...in the last few weeks she has attempted to do the following: reconnect her and my sisters' churches which split 5 years ago, convince me to move home to live with her in her new house, hook me up with a guy that she knows is perfect for me, yelled at my sister, and stood up in church to announce she had 4 points to add to the sermon. She let me know again last night that she has been misdiagnosed with bipolar. Little does she know at this point that she is the poster child for bipolar...
saturday was a fun night with friends. to be perfectly honest, i felt completely on my game that night...my jokes went over well...we all laughed and laughed hard...a couple of people even made the comment that my new red hair had made me a little crazier than normal...it was an awesome night...and then, as i thought back on the events of the evening, i wondered if my more-hyper-than-normal behavior could be my own personal manic phase...again all of the events of the past few weeks have heightened my fear that i will inherit my mother's disorder...maybe i was just lovin' life saturday night...i sure hope so...
ok i need to end this and run to lunch but before i do i want to comment on my last post's "woe is me i'm single" aspect. i read this last night and it exhibited my feelings on being single perfectly:
"'Just anyone' could never make me happy (at least for more than about a week, typically), and so -- I would rather walk on my own. But it ached a little."
truthfully, i would rather walk on my own than be in a relationship that's not right...it does ache...i do wonder if it will ever happen...sometimes i am tempted to hurl myself at the wrong relationship just for some temporary companionship...i hope God keeps me from making a mistake like that...
my mom is still in her manic phase...she feels that she has all of the answers to life's questions and solutions to all of life's problems...in the last few weeks she has attempted to do the following: reconnect her and my sisters' churches which split 5 years ago, convince me to move home to live with her in her new house, hook me up with a guy that she knows is perfect for me, yelled at my sister, and stood up in church to announce she had 4 points to add to the sermon. She let me know again last night that she has been misdiagnosed with bipolar. Little does she know at this point that she is the poster child for bipolar...
saturday was a fun night with friends. to be perfectly honest, i felt completely on my game that night...my jokes went over well...we all laughed and laughed hard...a couple of people even made the comment that my new red hair had made me a little crazier than normal...it was an awesome night...and then, as i thought back on the events of the evening, i wondered if my more-hyper-than-normal behavior could be my own personal manic phase...again all of the events of the past few weeks have heightened my fear that i will inherit my mother's disorder...maybe i was just lovin' life saturday night...i sure hope so...
ok i need to end this and run to lunch but before i do i want to comment on my last post's "woe is me i'm single" aspect. i read this last night and it exhibited my feelings on being single perfectly:
"'Just anyone' could never make me happy (at least for more than about a week, typically), and so -- I would rather walk on my own. But it ached a little."
truthfully, i would rather walk on my own than be in a relationship that's not right...it does ache...i do wonder if it will ever happen...sometimes i am tempted to hurl myself at the wrong relationship just for some temporary companionship...i hope God keeps me from making a mistake like that...
// posted by ruth @ 9:34 AM 
